Throwback Thursday: no strings

23 Aug

In as many days I have had conversations with two homegirls who are negotiating the complications of no-strings-turned-tangled situations with could-be, should be, damn near would be lovers.  Sex is serious business.  Because while everybody should be able to get their physical needs met, there are other, more complicated and tangled needs wrapped up somewhere between tight thighs and restless bodies.

In her collection “The Love Space Demands (a continuing saga)” Ntozake Shange says, “Watching the women in my group suppress giggles, raise eyebrows, and wiggle in their seats, I realized that we all were having trouble separating love from sex, sensuality from affection, devotion from masochism, and independence from fear of intimacy.”

Uhm-hm.

She also says, “The ephiphany of orgasms or infatuations is a consistently sought after reward for leading an otherwise reasonable life.”

#Word!

My throwback (originally posted March 3, 2012) is a poetic tribute to all of the ways our (sexual and emotional) needs and wants struggle to get met at the same time.

no strings

i thought that i

could be brave enough

to make love to you

with

no

strings attached

but your arms around me felt like strings

your fingers, like strings

when you used them to massage my neck

and caress my back

and my legs

felt like strings

when i

held them around your neck

& squeezed and scratched your back

leaving marks that looked like strings

i thought

we could be happy together

laughing before, during, and after

wrapped up in damp sheets

and avoiding each other’s eyes so that we can pretend that it wasn’t that deep

all that touching and holding and moaning

we just did

because we are f’cking without strings

attached

but it felt like a string

pulling and luring me back to you

tying your hands above your head

torturing you with my eyes

because the strings would not allow me to look any other way

or place

as I straddled you and rode you to perfection

but it’s cool because

i never promised to love you

and you never promised to love me back

and i don’t need you to love me

i just want you to want me. . .back

but these strings in my heart

won’t let me

my pride

won’t let me

hold on to false strings

yet somehow i got attached

© R. Boylorn, 2012

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9 Responses to “Throwback Thursday: no strings”

  1. charmedbylove August 23, 2012 at 9:35 AM #

    emotions should be the precursor to sexuality, what do you think? :)

  2. Krista August 23, 2012 at 9:58 AM #

    idk if its my pms or what but I just cried myself into a snot spasm. thank u.

  3. Sistah August 23, 2012 at 3:47 PM #

    Before salvation I did think as these women or men would think…no strings attached. Yet there are strings attached…Your body is a temple and when people step into your temple they leave handprints…So, please remember your body is more than organs, tissue, and bones. Its a spirtiual place that can have fingerprints left behind(attachments)…Love Sistah

  4. Susan L Daniels August 23, 2012 at 8:07 PM #

    Love the poem. Love it.

  5. teresz August 25, 2012 at 9:47 AM #

    Completely dig that poem. It soo mirrors my life right now. Amazingly written. Love it

  6. Clare August 25, 2012 at 1:46 PM #

    Wow. I have sat here and read and reread. Beautifully written and painfully true.

  7. Charle August 28, 2012 at 7:11 PM #

    This poem was TOO raw…it left me absolutely breathless and reflective, because it brought me back to a place I didn’t want to remember. And that’s the power of amazing writing.

  8. TamekaJ October 9, 2012 at 7:51 AM #

    That poem was so DEEP, and so true! So glad you use your gift of writing to bless others!!1

  9. ShaMyra October 12, 2012 at 3:33 AM #

    Bravo!! Wish I could like it multiple times..

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