Dear Patriarchy,

6 Apr

Dear Patriarchy,

This isn’t working. We both know that it hasn’t been working for a very long time.

It’s not you…no actually, it is you. This is an unhealthy, dysfunctional, abusive relationship because of you. You are stifling, controlling, oppressive and you have never had my best interest at heart. You have tricked me into believing that things are the way they are because they have to be, that they have always been that way, that there are no alternatives and that they will never change. Anytime I questioned you or your ways, you found another way to silence me and coerce me back into submission. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve changed and in spite of your shackles, I’ve grown. I have realized that this whole restrictive system is your own fabrication and that the only one that is gaining anything from it is you. You selfish dick.

I will not continue to live like this. I will not continue to settle. I know now that there is a better way.

Before you hear about it from one of your boys, you should know that I have met someone. Her name is Feminism. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She validates and respects my opinions. She ALWAYS has my best interest at heart. She thinks that I am beautiful and loves me just the way I am. She has helped me find my voice and she makes me happier than I have ever been. We have made each other stronger. Best of all, we encourage and challenge each other to grow. And the sex…the sex is so much hotter.

I’m leaving you. You’re an asshole. We can never be friends. Don’t call me. Ever.

Never yours,


17 Responses to “Dear Patriarchy,”

  1. crunktastic April 6, 2010 at 11:57 AM #

    Today is a wonderful day to be a feminist!!! Thank you, Crunkista!!!!!

  2. tdreese April 6, 2010 at 12:03 PM #


  3. Miriam Petty April 6, 2010 at 12:23 PM #

    Dear Crunkista,

    I promise I’ll love you and treat you like a good woman if you just be a little quieter. Oh yeah, and quit your job. And if I think you’re cute. And if I think you’re “virtuous” according to really really old standards of conduct. But really–I’ll be bringing the no-holds-barred conditional love your way after that–I PROMISE.
    Conditionally yours,

    • crunkista April 6, 2010 at 12:50 PM #

      That is why we can’t be friends.

  4. MB April 6, 2010 at 12:27 PM #

    love this!

    I love being a part of this community!

    also, isn’t it interesting that one of the worst insults for a dude implicitly references his mother and her sexual behavior?

    • crunkista April 6, 2010 at 12:50 PM #

      MB, when I was writing it, I thought the same thing…and after some more thought…I’ve changed it.
      Many thanks,

      • Mb April 6, 2010 at 10:50 PM #

        Love the change!!! So fierce (clearly this is my word right now) !!!

  5. Gwendolyn Pough April 6, 2010 at 1:04 PM #

    PS… You betta call Tyrone and tell him to come help you get your shit…

    • crunktastic April 6, 2010 at 1:49 PM #

      Gwen, I was thinking the EXACT same thing, lol!!

    • susiemaye April 6, 2010 at 4:27 PM #

      But you can’t use my phone!

  6. sheridf April 6, 2010 at 2:07 PM #

    Why did I get Divorced?
    Because Patri Archy is a damn fool and I am much more than a damn fool’s isolated wife and too much of a crunk feminist with a collective.

    This letter must be published and taught widely.

  7. eeshap April 6, 2010 at 6:40 PM #

    I’m deleting P’s number from my phone. And we’re not Facebook friends anymore, either!

  8. BrownGirl April 7, 2010 at 9:48 AM #

    This letter is so awesome. Time to make it viral. mwaa hahahaha!! 😛

  9. Nathalie April 7, 2010 at 10:42 AM #

    Love, love love love this. Feel like printing it and putting it on my front door, outside like, so people can read before entering.


  10. Asha April 11, 2010 at 12:01 PM #

    I love love love this letter! P is outside my window throwing rocks as we speak.

  11. nualacabral April 11, 2010 at 9:01 PM #

    LOVE THIS!!!


  1. Things that make Crunkista angry « The Crunk Feminist Collective - June 10, 2010

    […] #1, #2, #3, #4 and #5. 8] Patriarchy. ~ It’s still over. Stop calling me. Refer to the “Dear Patriarchy” post. 9) Glamour, Cosmopolitan and all other magazines like them. ~ I don’t need to learn […]

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