Confessions of a Swagga-holic

9 Feb

My name is Crunkista and I am a swagga-holic. I am under swag’s spell. It is my kryptonite. In fact, the only thing that saves me from this powerful vice is my feminism. I have found myself in some very sticky situations because of my addiction and have too many embarrassing stories to tell as a result of it. For instance, I once flew across state lines just to see a woman whose swag caught my eye at a club. Her swag was intoxicating and I needed more. The night we met, her unfortunate friend tried to kick it to me and it became a whole night of matrix maneuvers trying to get to her while letting her friend down gently. We exchanged numbers and I flew back home the next day.  A few weeks later I was flying back to her city, trying to get my next fix. It did not work out. Sadly, the only thing that was there – was my addiction and her supply. Had I not had that little feminist voice in my head screaming “get the hell out of there” with each and every red flag, I would have found myself in some serious trouble. She was so damn cute though.

Speaking of beautiful women, I recently came across one of the “Shit Black Lesbians Say” videos and was pleasantly surprised when the protagonists were women of color. It turns out that they were promoting a new web series called “Between Women.” I really don’t know much about the web series business and was only recently introduced to them by fellow Crunk Moyab’s admiration for Awkward Black Girl. I am now a fan of both.

“Between Women” follows the lives, trials and tribulations of a group of friends living in Atlanta, Georgia. So far, only five episodes have aired. It has been quite refreshing to see the characters develop and the story lines become progressively more complex. Episode three features a powerful domestic violence plotline, followed by a PSA that I really appreciated. We don’t talk about the domestic violence that often plagues LGBTQ communities and I commend them for taking on that story.

The show features some really interesting characters. I enjoy watching the quirky, awkward and lovable, Sunny Walker, the youngest member of the group “navigating her way out of the closet.” However, (due to my addiction) my absolute favorite character is Miller Harris, the ever so dapper “successful marketing director.” Miller is pretty much delectable and an unapologetic womanizer. She oozes swag and it just ain’t fair. I am under her spell and I like it. Will this be a reformed bad boi story? I sure hope so.

I really enjoy watching the show and thoroughly appreciate losing myself in the lives of these women. It is incredibly comforting to see women of color desiring and loving other women. As much as I enjoy watching the show, however, I will admit that it is not without its flaws. So far, I am not a fan of what sometimes seem like stifling butch/femme dichotomies being promoted where the women who present themselves on the more “masculine” side of the spectrum continually disrespect, cheat on and basically play those who present on the more “feminine” side. I fully understand that it is a drama, and that the writers need to portray stories that hook an audience. But I do expect more.

When I think of the work that remains to be done in our LBGTQ community, I always think of Good Asian Drivers’ performance of Queer Nation. Kit Yan puts it beautifully,“[…] but the truth is that we screw up too. See, we still haven’t found our groove on the outskirts of society. We’re still using old blue prints with bad foundations.”

Check it.

I have high hopes for this series especially because of the way they presented the domestic violence plot in episode three. Given that it is a web series, they depend on the donations of its viewers. I pledge to donate to them and will continue to tune in with the expectation that they depict a healthy romantic relationship and at least one butch/stud/boi who respects women and isn’t a womanizer. A girl can only dream.

“Between Women” is now on episode five but the third episode is incredibly entertaining. Please show your support.


9 Responses to “Confessions of a Swagga-holic”

  1. sistaoutsider February 9, 2012 at 8:29 AM #

    Reblogged this on sistaoutsider.

  2. S. Mandisa Moore February 9, 2012 at 8:47 AM #

    Crunkista-thank you for putting me up on a new show.

    As a black lesbian, I too look forward to more portrayals of women of color loving each other and navigating internalized patriarchal and white supremacist values. Im super stoked there will be an episode on interpersonal violence-not because I think its an exciting topic, but because it needs to be discussed in our community.

    There is this myth (that a lot of women buy in to, actually) that women will treat you better than a man will and so even when IPV is right in front of your face, we are hard pressed to believe it and/or take it seriously. Not that its taken super-seriously when its man on woman violence, but still. Everyone gets the misogynistic memo that women, esp WOC, aint shit-including femmes and studs and so we act accordingly, but as long as we buy into the myth that women inherently treat other women better, these issues will remain invisible. That is why I appreciate your analysis of what you want the show to strive for-I too get really tired of the typical-straight-out-the-can butch/femme dichotomies.

    Thank you!

  3. JBC February 9, 2012 at 3:29 PM #

    Rae is not a “womanizer”, why not give a shout-out to her loyalty to her girlfriend, and commitment to her ‘son’? It’s ok to expect more, but if you think you can do better then become a writer / directer / producer, until then appreciate what they’re coming together to give you.

    • crunktastic February 9, 2012 at 4:15 PM #

      I long for the day when folks learn how to disagree sans unnecessary snark.

    • crunkista February 9, 2012 at 7:46 PM #

      Dear JBC,

      I honestly appreciate you taking the time to read my post. I RARELY comment back. I will, however, make an exception just for you.

      A few things:
      A) If I used your faulty logic, this is what a response to your comment would look like, “If you think you can do better, then become a blogger – until then appreciate what we’re coming together to give you.”
      B) I raved about the show and encouraged CFC followers to support the show as well.
      C) I am allowed my opinions.
      D) I will not be silenced or told how to engage with a show (that I really enjoy & support) on my own site.
      E) If you post another unnecessary comment like that, it will not be approved. Get it? You will be silenced.

  4. TheOne (@nosugacoatingit) February 9, 2012 at 6:14 PM #

    yeah cut out the nasty remarks! flew across state lines chasing someone? that is funny, hope she didnt think you were a stalker. talk about determined to get someone YOU GO GIRL

  5. Not You (@HeadyHeathen) February 9, 2012 at 9:19 PM #

    I donated and I was pretty sad to find out that they only raised $800 of their $8,000 goal. Considering all the views the show has had, if everyone who has watched AT LEAST one episode donated ONE dollar, they would have surpassed their goal.

  6. V.C February 10, 2012 at 8:13 PM #

    Here are some more QPOC webseries

    Mostly Black & Brown women in Miami

    Asian-American Lesbians in LA

    And here’s one outta Oakland, although I don’t think they ever raised enough money for post-production:

  7. NatouCBS February 13, 2012 at 6:25 PM #

    Too much to say about this show. But, I’ll keep it short (kind of). I love, love this show. I think Michelle Brown, the director/ producer has tapped into how our community expresses itself on the day-to-day. She’s not trying to give us this pristine Cosby-like representation of Black living. No, the fathers of children who remarry, leaving the first set of children, often neglect the children. That’s real. We watch youtube videos and attempt to emulate. That’s real. The musicality of Rae on the street corner. That’s real.The facial expressions of Brooke, the aggressor in the IPV skit, during the therapy scene are SOOO real. It reminds me of how aggressively masculine men twitch when they’re forced to speak their feelings. As I watched this and posted it to my fcbk page, I was saddened b/c I realize that the homophobia that permeates our community won’t allow this show to thrive in the way that it should. Thanks for posting.

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