This is How it Works

4 May

You’ve probably already heard about Brian McKnight’s desire to release an “adult” mixtape.

Now, brother McKnight has recently claimed that this shamtastery was a parody of the hypersexualized R&B songs that are par for the course. Okay, boo.  You might need to start back at one.  Something tells me that Forever Knight was not lampooning the sexism and misogyny of much contemporary music, but instead trying to titillate desensitized listeners who find Trey Songz’ lyricism subtle.

Making love faces, right?

Look, if I’m going to take instructions from 90s R&B stars I’d rather listen to TLC.

So, I had a couple of lolz at Brian’s expense, but the song did get me thinking. I’m not particularly prudish, so why did I bristle at this tune? I mean, aside from its general wackness, why did it rub me the wrong way?

Maybe it was because this negro actually claimed he was going to tell a woman how her own body works. Say what now?

Now, certainly, there are times when a partner or partners can teach us things about our bodies and pleasure—for better or for worse—so I don’t have any beef with the notion that the business of pleasure can be a group enterprise. What I do give the side eye to is this whole notion that a dude with a raspy falsetto is guru of female ejaculation. I just refuse to believe!

Despite my disbelief in Brian McNasty’s sexual pedagogy, there probably are some folks who not only find his recent foray sexy but informative. Jesus wept.

If I could just take these people aside, I’d point them to some sources for the truly grown and sexy. Take for instance Afroerotik, which has progressive erotica, photography, and, coming soon, adult film, that features people of color of various shapes, sizes, and orientations. Or Kuma, a long-running site dedicated to lesbian erotica. Tumblr has a bunch of cool stuff too. Check out Black Erotica and Betta Come Correct, which let’s us know that “black feminist sex is the best sex ever!” Word.

When y’all are not listening to Brian McNaughty break it down, what are your favorite sexy sites and so on?

8 Responses to “This is How it Works”

  1. Susan L Daniels May 4, 2012 at 9:57 AM #

    Yes, please show us how it works, since we, as owners, have no idea….. I also think the track is rather juvenile 🙂

    The sites you recommend show us what’s really sexy 🙂

  2. Birgitta Johnson (@DrBirgittaSays) May 4, 2012 at 11:03 AM #

    “Despite my disbelief in Brian McNasty’s sexual pedagogy….”

    *Casket ready*

    I present the “Line of the Day” Award to CFC….

  3. Scottie Lowe May 4, 2012 at 11:45 AM #

    I’m the owner of one of the sexy sites you listed (And thank you very much BTW) and I didn’t find it offensive. There are tons of women, Black women, who are so sexually repressed that they don’t know how their pussy works. Most Black women don’t even know how to cum, let alone squirt. I just didn’t see the song as offensive. His use of the word pussy was not offensive to me. That’s the word that is used for it. His assertion that he was going to instruct women how to orgasm was not offensive to me either. There are 10 BAJILLION songs on the radio, and that blast from car stereos in wretched mix tapes that are far more offensive. I think people were offended because he was supposed to belong to the “Oh, sex is so disgusting in public,” posse and he betrayed them. Black people either belong to the “We are Freaks, Get Freaky, Ghetto Freaky Freak Freak,” crowd, or the “Sex? that’s disgusting,” crowd. Brian McKnight was the leader of the, “I would NEVER talk about sex publicly,” crew, he was the poster child for sexually repressed women to masturbate to. When he said the word pussy, that’s when Black women wanted to divorce him and banish him to the Freaky Freak crew. That’s the epitome of sexual immaturity.

  4. panamaenrique May 4, 2012 at 12:44 PM #

    You mean the women come in various shapes, sizes, and orientations.

    bettacomecorrect has a nice variation for everyone.

  5. Not You (@HeadyHeathen) May 8, 2012 at 9:06 AM #

    I am a fan of queer porn tv. I do wish they had more African-American and Latino queer folks in their films but oh well.
    I was fortunate to grow up in an area with an awesome public library system and I checked out tons of books about sexuality, reproductive health, etc. at a young age. Most of my info on sex came through books and I am forever grateful to the staff of the Central Arkansas Library System for not restricting me in checking out those books. I work in a library now and it really disappoints me when I see staff members try to restrict young people from checking out certain books due to their age. =/

  6. Patti May 8, 2012 at 2:01 PM #

    Love me some Scottie Lowe and Afroerotik and Black Erotica, please suggest more! I will be checking out the others you listed.

  7. Lala May 12, 2012 at 6:35 AM #

    I have to believe Brian McKnight was joking, i HAVE to…Like Wayne Brady on the Chapelle Show.

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