Remember Their Names: In Memory of Kasandra, Cherica & Others

3 Dec

I am sure that by now many of you know the name Jovan Belcher.  If you didn’t know his name (as I didn’t) before this weekend, you know it now.  He is the Kansas City Chiefs player who shot and killed his girlfriend before taking his own life on Saturday.  Headlines and news stories have focused on the tragedy from the lens of the perpetrator (including speculation of potential brain trauma, his involvement, as an undergraduate, in a Male Athletes Against Violence initiative, and his standing as an allstar athlete), in some ways dismissing or overshadowing the lens of the victim, who in headlines is simply referred to as “(his) girlfriend.”


Her name is Kasandra Michelle Perkins.  She was 22 years old, a new mother, and an aspiring teacher.  Her picture shows off a beautiful smile and her friends describe her as selfless, kind, and generous.  She was excited about being a mother to her newborn, Zoey, and was optimistic about her future.  But her future was cut short, her life was taken away, and I think you should know her name.

This tragic story pushes to the forefront an important issue in terms of domestic violence and murder.  When the murderer is famous, attractive, rich, or charming people don’t want to believe that they are guilty.  I don’t pretend to know Jovan Belcher’s heart, motives, or mind set when he fired numerous gunshots into the body of his baby’s mother, and then turned the gun on himself.  I don’t know why his only option, in that moment, felt like a desperate one.  I don’t know what caused him to murder Kasandra, but what I do know is that it was not Kasandra’s fault.  I know that staying out until 1 o’clock in the morning at a concert was not an invitation to die.  I know that it doesn’t matter what she wore that night, or what she may have said, or whether or not she may have been intoxicated, or rolled her eyes at him, or called him out of his name, or talked to another guy in passing, she didn’t deserve to die.  I know Kasandra didn’t start it, or run off at the mouth, or otherwise instigate her murder.  I don’t know what happened in her relationship, or in that room that night/morning, but I do know that there is nothing Kasandra could have said, done, or imagined that would justify what happened to her.

It is ridiculous that I have to write a disclaimer of responsibility, anticipating an assumption of accountablity for the victim, a young woman who had not even began to live her life, a new mother who will not get to see her child’s first Christmas…but there are (or will be) people who, in Jovan Belcher’s defense, will ask aloud (or wonder silently) what she did to set him off.  They will say she had no business going out with a three-month old at home.  They will wonder what she did to make him so mad that he would jeopardize everything he had worked so hard for.  They will speculate about her cheating, or lying, or disrespecting him.  They will assume that somehow she is at least partially to blame for her own demise.  But I posit that there is nothing that she did do, didn’t do, or could have done to justify her tragic, violent and untimely death.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt that Jovan Belcher was a good man, a good athlete, a good friend, a good father, or a generous son, but his desperate act in a moment of rage or confusion made him a murderer, and his pre-death accolades and post-death reputation should not be protected at the expense of the person he killed.  Many articles are focusing on how shocked people are that this happened because he was such a good man, and did not have violent tendencies…but imaging that makes him a martyr is problematic because it makes it seem like Kasandra Perkins must have provoked him.  The insinuation, even mildly, that the victim of a violent act is somehow responsible for what happens to them is reprehensible…but unfortunately not uncommon when the victim is black, brown, nonheterosexual, working-class, non-cissexual, disable bodied, or a woman. (NOTE:  A recent example of this “blame the dead victim” mentality was shown when George Zimmerman’s defense requested access to Trayvon Martin’s social media records, as if a facebook status, re-tweet, or candid photograph of a 17-year-old black boy would somehow prove his culpability in his own killing).


Do you remember Cherica Adams?  Eight months pregnant, she was gunned down in a drive-by shooting on November 16, 1999, when Rae Carruth, a then wide receiver for the Carolina Panthers, conspired to have her killed because he did not want to pay child support (she had refused his insistence that she get an abortion).  With a will to survive and save her child she had the fortitude, with multiple bullet wounds, to call 911, and name Carruth as her murderer.  She gave birth to her son (who was born with cerebral palsy as a result of the shooting), slipped into a coma, and died a month later, 13 years ago this month.  Did you know (remember) her name?


I did not write this piece to offer a commentary on the dangers of hypermasculinity, or to insinuate a direct correlation between athletes and violence (though those are conversations that are worthy of discussion).  I did not write this piece to co-opt a space where fans, friends, and family can mourn their loss and seek comfort for the understandable devastation they must feel.  I did not write this piece to bad-mouth Jovan, or speak ill of the dead (may he and Kasandra rest in peace).  I wrote this piece to adjust the focus away from the famous athlete who “snapped,” and to put it on the true innocent in the case.  I wrote this piece as a clarion call to remember Kasandra by her name and not by her relationship.  I wrote this piece so that we don’t forget that victims may fall into statistics but they have names!  I wrote this piece as a reminder that Kasandra (and Cherica) existed before their relationships with men who did not value their lives.  I wrote this piece as a reminder that when a tragedy like this happens, it is not the perpetrator’s name we should remember, but the victim’s.  And since Kasandra Perkins’ name is not in the headlines (and Cherica Adams’ name was not in the headlines), but is rather hidden somewhere between the facts of the case and the eulogy of a man deemed the tragic, martyred hero, I wrote this piece to call out her name.  I feel like you should know her name.  And Cherica’s name.  And the name of every other victim who gets lost in the shadows of a murderer’s limelight.

In an article by the Kansas City Star, a close friend of Kasandra said, “I don’t want her to get overshadowed by who he was…she deserves recognition, too.”

Indeed she does.  Don’t forget her name!

Please use the comments section to call out the names of any (living or dead) victim/s of a violent crime you want to honor, remember, and/or recognize!

And please…pay attention in your relationships!  Look for signs of danger (see Pearl Cleage’s Mad at Miles: A Blackwoman’s Guide to Truth) and escape if/when you see them.  If someone threatens to kill you, believe them! If someone is emotionally or verbally abusive, leave the relationship.  Love should not hurt, and despite the romanticization of manic love in popular culture, it is not worth dying for.

83 Responses to “Remember Their Names: In Memory of Kasandra, Cherica & Others”

  1. wilhelmina perry December 3, 2012 at 8:06 AM #

    Good and thoughtful article.

  2. KittyBarber December 3, 2012 at 8:15 AM #

    Reblogged this on kittybarber and commented:
    The NY Times decided that the murderer warranted a long article about him, his career, and about what a good, loving, family man and father he was. His victim, a mere woman, is mentioned once.

  3. focsimama December 3, 2012 at 8:28 AM #

    My first question when I heard this story was: What happened and Why? And I was equally perplexed at all of the “he was a good man, etc” story-lines that were coming out, simply because you never know what goes on in someone else’s home. We rarely know the differences that lie between a person’s, whether famous or infamous, public and personal personas.

    One can be a grand upstanding citizen in public and be a complete and utter tyrant at home. You never know. & thank you so much for saying, “….if someone threatens to kill you, believe it” Those simple words could save someone’s life.

    Unfortunately, many people don’t take those words seriously enough. We mustn’t forget the other victim in this tragedy, as well, 3 month Zoey. She lost her mother and father. Her life will forever be changed. How will they each be remembered to her.

  4. focsimama December 3, 2012 at 8:29 AM #

    Reblogged this on Focsi Mama Speaks and commented:
    Remember those whose lives are cut short by domestic violence or scarred abuse! Empower them and create save space for those still here.

  5. radicalwoman December 3, 2012 at 8:43 AM #

    “I don’t doubt that Jovan Belcher was a good man, a good athlete, a good friend, a good father, or a generous son”

    I do.

  6. travelling womanists December 3, 2012 at 8:53 AM #

    Reblogged this on The Chronicles of Travelling Womanists and commented:
    Do not forget her name!

  7. bugbrennan December 3, 2012 at 8:56 AM #

    Reblogged this on Name The Problem and commented:
    Male violence.

  8. Jessica December 3, 2012 at 10:11 AM #

    And don’t forget another victim here – Zoey. Their baby girl, who is not an orphan because her father killed her mother before killing himself. She will grow up without her parents, and thanks to society/internet etc she will probably know fairly early what happened. She is another major, and very innocent, victim here.

    • Jessica December 3, 2012 at 10:12 AM #

      …who is NOW an orphan (not “not”)…

  9. Coffeh December 3, 2012 at 10:17 AM #

    Reporting this in honor of a family friend Prea Moore, shot & killed in front of her 2 year old twins 8 years ago

  10. Courtney Morris December 3, 2012 at 10:17 AM #

    So true. A soldier in the town that I grew up in killed his girlfriend and their one-year old daughter before turning the gun on his face. His victim, Charlotte Jones, and I ran track together in high school. I have never forgotten her name. It’s tragic that it still needs to be said that all “statistics” have names and they should be remembered. Thank you so much for making it plain.

  11. Roger Bonair-Agard December 3, 2012 at 10:41 AM #

    Anthony Joseph, Jordan Davis, Patrice.

  12. Jonathan Muhammad December 3, 2012 at 11:10 AM #

    Addie Mae Collins, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson and Denise McNair

  13. theHotness Grrrl December 3, 2012 at 11:30 AM #

    Beautiful tribute! Thanks for writing this.

  14. Tauheedah December 3, 2012 at 11:50 AM #

    Beautiful!!! I thank the person who shared this article on facebook. I would like to also remember a beautiful woman who is gone but not forgotten Bayyinah “Beenie” Abdur-Rahman. She was taken from us in a domestic violence situation and like this case he took his own life as well. I’ll always love you Beenie!

    • Yisheng Qingwa December 3, 2012 at 4:44 PM #

      Domestic violence=MALE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

      • purplesocialist December 5, 2012 at 9:43 AM #

        Domestic violence is not always male against female.
        I prefer the term intimate partner violence which is basically what it sounds like: violence occurring within an intimate relationship.

        It can happen between two women, two men, two gender queer people,etc.

      • Grackle December 5, 2012 at 11:45 AM #

        Yes, purplesocialist, but the great majority of cases (by far) are male-on-female violence, and so calling it “intimate partner violence” erases something we seriously need to acknowledge if we ever hope to fix it. It makes the violence gender-neutral when it isn’t.

  15. JNique27 December 3, 2012 at 12:16 PM #

    Thank you for writing this piece; I am deeply moved and appreciative of your words.

    I was grieved by Kassandra’s death (and the entire situation) and I am grateful that other women of color around the world, and their allies, are honoring women like Kassandra and Cherica, who have lost their lives because of inter-partner violence.

    the women and girls of safe place, my cousins, several girls at church, the women in my family. Cynteria Phillips, Sherrice Iverson, and all black women and girls who have lost their lives to domestic violence.

    • MK December 8, 2012 at 9:24 AM #

      Thank you @JNique27 for sharing those names, I am currently working on a project to bring attention to victims of domestic violence and violence, especially women and girls of color. If you, or anyone else has any more stories please send them to Thank you. I want their stories to be heard.

      Thank you for this moving tribute. We need attention brought to this issue. It’s so important and so crucial that we have no choice but to do something.

  16. Anna December 3, 2012 at 12:48 PM #

    I am always upset when the names of the perpetrators are printed and reprinted and the lives of those lost are ignored – or worse, as you so beautifully portrayed in your piece.

    There are so many — unnamed and I honor them all — but I also opened this article today:

    I don’t know her, but no one deserves this kind of treatment … no one.

  17. Beth Bellavance-Grace December 3, 2012 at 1:09 PM #

    Thank you for writing this. I’d like to remember Jean Hosmer, who was gunned down and murdered in 1999 by her husband in front of the police station in my hometown.

  18. Breeze Harper December 3, 2012 at 1:53 PM #

    As usual, well thought out and critical perspectives that I rarely hear about.

    I just received an email from an online petition site that speaks of how Bob Costas “attacks” the issues of guns in the USA and then was sent to a link in which I can sign a petition that asks the state to put more control on firearm access…

    This is because Bob Costas talks about the murder of Kasandra and implies that this would not have happened if there at been stricter gun laws. What do people think about this? The first thing that came to mind is that guns don’t stop people from killing others, and in the case of “domestic violence”, there are enough documented cases in which the those killed did not die from a bullet, but beating, being strangled, or from the use of a knife.

  19. Alisha M.Gray (@ZenMamaPolitic) December 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM #

    @ZenMamaPolitic Wonderful Article. My thoughts are so strong on this. Heightened male violence is peaking, because of renewed Patriarchal pressures, and Black males not understanding how to handle them.

    First…I believe that we have a responsibility to our children (both male and female) to educate them not only about so called ‘Domestic Violence’, but also instigating factors which contribute to it. And although this violence is in no way centered on intimate partner relationships; it is crucial that we explain the associations of how Male Patriarchal Violence can easily extend (purposely) through the use of such trivializations as sport. This is because of male privilege, and the hierarchy of expected association with repressed sexuality and aggression. Secondly….However; I believe that Implied Gender Violence is often left undiscussed. This can lead to years of male/female (or the term that you choose for woman) dysfunction. In addition; this unhealthy repression of male sexual anger is not just inclusive of sports & lately has been manifesting itself within a pressured male form of ‘confused violence’. Not mentioning the fact that many sports are homoerotic such as football, we often also forget that they can be used as substitutes for male inadequacy. It is crucial, that we consider that manner in which these Black males may not be getting the necessary training on how to combat the ills & intersections of: Male misogyny, Violence, Racism, & Manhood.

    Lastly; I am so sad for Kasandra and Cherica. And, I believe that through conversation ..we can help to stop future victims of this type of senseless hypersexualized violence. But..first we must speak out. Black males are undoubtedly experiencing alienation on both fronts from White Males & Black women, because they have chosen to pursue hypermasculine agendas. This is a lonely path to take for them. They must be taught that life’s fears cannot be resolved from more violence..especially towards women. Again..I say again and again. They have to ‘reject’ male hypermasculinity; while finding their own comfortable form of male sexuality, that does not involve repression of sexuality, violence, or lowered self-worth. The future of remembering these women’s names depends on us teaching our sons to have a sense of male identity of their own; which is not connected with gender violence. No matter what pressure appears to be generated from Patriarchal Oppression. This is essential.

  20. Elle December 3, 2012 at 4:21 PM #

    Beautiful. Thanks so much for this. I lovingly remember Karen Sherman and the sons she left behind (now men with children of their own) when she was murdered and disfigured by her husband.

    But, back to Kasandra Perkins. To add to the confusion here, it appears that Belcher’s mother, Cheryl Sheppard, was present when he shot her. She identified herself as Kasandra’s mother when she called 911 and was (no doubt) with her as she lay dying. Tragic on so many levels.

  21. boylouie December 3, 2012 at 6:47 PM #

    Maple Batalia, who was shot and killed at night leaving her/my/our university. Almost a year later, 2 suspects have finally been brought into custody for her murder.

  22. whatsername (@thejadedhippy) December 3, 2012 at 7:43 PM #

    I’d like to remember Robin Jenkins, murdered by her partner in their home in 2009. He is still awaiting trial in Nevada.

  23. martindufresne December 3, 2012 at 7:59 PM #

    rboylorn wrote: “I don’t know why his only option, in that moment, felt like a desperate one. ” You don’t even know that this is true. Indeed, that hypothesis denies his responsibilkity.

  24. Louisa (@LouisatheLast) December 3, 2012 at 8:24 PM #

    Daryl Etchison, Jr. 3 years old. He was killed last month in Altoona, PA when a man who didn’t know him set his house on fire. The arsonist thought his ex-girlfriend was staying with Daryl’s family, and he wanted to kill her.

  25. GD December 3, 2012 at 8:37 PM #

    Bob Costas had an opportunity last night to speak to 18.13 million people (many of them men) about domestic violence during halftime of NBC’s Sunday Night Football. Instead, he talked about gun control, which, while I agree with his overarching assessment that if (hand)gun ownership was more restrictive, fewer people would die from gun related crimes, is probably the tertiary narrative in this story behind brain trauma, which likely played a role in this event, and domestic violence, which is what this story is about at its core and its periphery.

    But of course, NBC doesn’t want its audience to think about the fact that that jersey hanging in its collective closet belongs to a person capable of killing the mother of his three month old child and that maybe, just maybe, the thing that it watches him do every Sunday with a full-throated roar had a little something to do with it. Because, well, that’s yucky.

  26. Ashley Gee December 3, 2012 at 9:46 PM #

    I will not forget her name…Kassandra Perkins.
    May she Rest in Paradise. Thank you for doing this article.

  27. Bee December 3, 2012 at 10:22 PM #

    “I don’t doubt that Jovan Belcher was a good man, a good athlete, a good friend, a good father, or a generous son” I doubt this. I believe he was a piece of shit with a lot of privilege. The way people are justifying what he did and victim-blaming. I can’t even. He shot her 9 times! 9!!! Rest in peace Kasandra Michelle Perkins.

  28. Mary December 3, 2012 at 10:45 PM #

    “I wrote this piece as a reminder that when a tragedy like this happens, it is not the perpetrator’s name we should remember, but the victim’s.”

    This was beautiful, thank you.

  29. Guulo December 3, 2012 at 11:37 PM #

    Thank you for this. It leaves me feeling heavy.

  30. Liz Speaks December 4, 2012 at 12:10 AM #

    Timely and powerful. Not only am I ashamed that I did not know Cherica Adams’ name, I didn’t realize she had a son who survived with Cerebral Palsy…how is that possible? Simply because of the points you bring up. I know I won’t forget b/c I see from the certificate shown on the video, that she shares my birthday. Kasandra Michelle Perkins. I will remember her name, (and Zoey’s) as I will remember the sweet face in this photograph. I too, have grown increasingly unsettled by what you call “the romanticization of manic love in popular culture,” – it is at “health threat” levels. If you wanted us to remember, if you wanted to enlighten us to the true tragedies of domestic violence, mission accomplished. Thank you. Denise McNair, Carole Robertson, Addie Mae Collins, Cynthia Wesley.

  31. dickmojo December 4, 2012 at 2:24 AM #

    This is a race issue, not a gender issue. You can be guaranteed that if a white guy hate committed this heinous murder, there would be no question about it, he would be cast as the villain, and rightly so.

    But because the evil perpetrators was black, oh, all of a sudden HE’S the victim! The mind boggles.

    • martindufresne December 4, 2012 at 7:57 AM #

      Actually, I have noticed that whenever a man kills his intimate partner and/or her children AND he commits suicide, the media frame it as a “tragedy” rather than a murder. A man’s death trumps a woman’s and a male suicide is deemed to count as more significant than a murder.

    • Monique December 4, 2012 at 9:17 AM #

      Oh yes. Because we all know Nicole Brown Simpson’s name.

    • Blake December 11, 2012 at 1:33 PM #

      Issues are usually more complicated than race OR gender. Most often these issues have multiple components, such as race AND gender, and/or socioeconomic status.

  32. CH December 4, 2012 at 6:00 AM #

    Leaving a controlling or violent relationship is not easy and we should never send the message, “just leave,” without recognizing that it can be dangerous. Most women killed by their partners have already left the relationship. Those who are trying to leave need support and information, they may even need to go back to reduce an escalation in threats and stalking, or because they lack the resources to stay away safely. To get more information about local partner violence resources and safety planning, contact the National domestic violence hotline:

  33. counterftnoire December 4, 2012 at 6:58 AM #

    Reblogged this on Nerd Noire Undercover.

  34. LaShonda Katrice Barnett December 4, 2012 at 8:24 AM #

    Velton Lacefield, R.I.P.
    Trina Norman, R.I.P.

  35. Robin goodwin December 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM #

    Theresa Brooks & Cierra D. Stokes

  36. K December 4, 2012 at 10:30 AM #

    Reuban and Aaliyah Johnson. Killed this last June by Regina Johnson (wife and mother of the victims.

    Kyla Franks stabbed to death by her mother.

    Mitchell Murch III and Mary Claire Murch killed by their mother.

    To say these types of crimes are limited to men is to diminish the lives of those men who died at the hands of their wives or girlfriends. And it gives a methaphorical finger to children who have died as well. This is a well thought out article on a topic not enough people address.

    So much focus is put on the perpetrators of these horrific crimes and the victims are left nameless to be forgotten.

    Thank you for writing.

    • don't.mansplain December 4, 2012 at 6:38 PM #

      As always, when there’s a thread about the reality of male violence against women, someone has to obfuscate and hijack the thread with cries of “but men too!” And “don’t just focus on this..”
      Sit down. Focus on this. Because that’s what this article is about. A woman (and child) killed by her male partner/ex, one of many this will happen to this year (out of the 1.3 million women who will be assaulted by male partners).

      And if you really care, go write and post your article on women killing people in another place.

      And ask yourself why it pains you to just sit for the length of a blog post and comment with this reality that women have to live with every day- that the men they should be able to trust- husbands, boyfriends, co-parents could easily become their murderers and that the world would likely react by making even their deaths at these men’s hands all about the men who killed them.

      Compared to a man, a woman is far more likely to be killed by her spouse, an intimate acquaintance, or a family member than murdered by a stranger or an unidentified intruder.

      30% of women killed in the United States die at the hands of a husband or boyfriend. The male rate of death by intimate partner in this country is about 1/3 that of the rate for women killed by partners. When women do kill male partners, it’s usually men who have battered them for years.

      “At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.” ― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

      Sit down. Listen. Focus.

      • martindufresne December 4, 2012 at 7:57 PM #

        Thank you for these excellent points, don’t mansplain.
        BTW, that quote about “men being afraid women will laugh at them” is not by Gavin de Becker, but by Canadian writer Margaret Atwood, It was attributed to her as far back as 1996:

  37. Barbara Hayes December 4, 2012 at 10:50 AM #

    Thank You for such a well written article. May God Bless you for opening up our minds to not let the memory of the victims to go unnoticed.

  38. Feminist Living December 4, 2012 at 11:39 AM #

    Reblogged this on Encounters of The Sexes.

  39. Kandee Lewis December 4, 2012 at 11:40 AM #

    Excellent, thoughtful article. We must always remember the every name of anyone who has lost their life at the hands of another! Thank you for reminding people, “If someone threatens to kill you (or in any other way abuse, harm or hurt you) BELIEVE them”

  40. benazeman December 4, 2012 at 1:41 PM #

    Outstanding article – am sharing it far and wide! Thank you!

    I would love the article more if it ended with something other than “If someone is emotionally or verbally abusive, leave the relationship.” Good advice, but it’s not up to the victim to leave – it’s up to the rest of us to hold abusers accountable, and create safety for victims should THEY choose to leave.

    Thanks again!

    • tlfk December 5, 2012 at 7:36 AM #

      Absolutely. And we need to give the abuse survivors the support they need and request if they do choose to leave.

      Although I don’t think it can ever be said enough that emotional and verbal abuse are also reasons to leave, just as physical abuse is, which may have been what the author was trying to do with that statement. Someone asked me once on a crisis line if “emotional abuse is really a thing”. Her husband was doing that and more, but she did not have the words to adequately describe it, which is the end result of society denying that emotional abuse is real/serious.

    • liftingasweclimb December 7, 2012 at 12:45 AM #

      I’m sure you mean well but this isn’t always possible. I’m not even sure what it means. A single woman living next door to a batterer might not be safe for me to confront the situation. Even if you use anonymous tip lines, if the batterer believes you turned him in, you are at great risk for retaliation.

      Black women need to think carefully before engaging the police, lest something come back negatively to them, the situation escalate, etc. Holding victims accountable requires a mechanism or community. Both things may not exist.

  41. DG December 4, 2012 at 2:00 PM #

    I applaud the article. It was written with love! But here a few things it made me consider. First is that we are talking about this murder because Jovan was a NFL player, because that is a job many people admire and few actually achieve. I don’t believe the focus on how tragic this is that Jovan could destroy his life and Kasandra’s is in anyway insinuating that she caused it. Jovan’s family may feel that way and they are entitled to feel how they feel. Emotions are not rational. 2nd is people want to weigh how much coverage is going to Jovan or Kasandra like they get something for having the most media coverage. They are both gone and nobody wins this battle of who should be remembered more!! The Media isn’t belittling Kasandra’s memory by considering Jovan’s better sides. The Irony and Status of Jovan is part of what brings this to our attention.
    Mental health is a real issue, Domestic violence is a real issue. We need real solutions because people are being murdered everyday and if Kasandra wasn’t married to a NFL player she wouldn’t make the front page, but her life and death still hold the same value.

  42. whortie December 4, 2012 at 8:25 PM #

    Charla Mack who was gunned down by Darren Mack. Her 8 year old daughter was in the house at the time. Charla’s murder was overshadowed by the attempted murder of the family court judge who was presiding over their divorce trial.

  43. Michelle Coleman December 4, 2012 at 8:48 PM #

    My name is Kasandra Perkins.

  44. lisa December 6, 2012 at 6:07 AM #


    • Yisheng Qingwa December 12, 2012 at 5:52 PM #

      Actually, men–“REAL MEN” do commit violent acts against women. EVERY SINGLE DAY. So, YES, a man would and does “do such a thing”.

      I am SO tired of the “real men don’t X” trope. It is simply false.

      • martindufresne December 12, 2012 at 6:19 PM #

        Yes, yes, yes. That allegedly anti-dexist men keep repeating this – with ample gov’t funding to spread that propaganda – says a lot about their true agenda: saving “manhood” at all costs.

  45. Cecilia December 6, 2012 at 10:01 AM #

    Reblogged this on Baby Blue Elephant and commented:
    Fellow young mother, aspiring educator, I will remember your name. Its time we honor the lives of victims of violent crime instead wringing our hands over how great the perpetrators were.

  46. jusRhae December 7, 2012 at 8:32 AM #

    I would like to say the names Kasandra Perkins and Cherica Adams. I would also like to say the name of my goddaughter, who was not in a victim of a violent crime in a relationship yet was killed in 2010, 14yrs old, walking home alone. Shatavia Anderson.

  47. jusRhae December 7, 2012 at 8:36 AM #

    Reblogged this on Run-On Sentences.

  48. Judi Tinkelenberg CNM December 7, 2012 at 10:13 PM #

    In 1997, my (male) business partner was murdered by his wife. The motive was apparently a financial one but, it was a domestic violence issue none the less. As a women’s health provider,I know that it appears that man on woman violence is the greater occurence but,more men hide the incidences of violence by women due to societies’ definition of masculinity and the humiliation involved (by their perception). I am also convinced that severe,unrecognized mental illness is responsible for much domestic violence. The woman I am now speaking of probably had a “dissociative disorder” due to her past history of physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her father. In this situation 3 children are without parents! As I review all of the “warning signs” that I missed, I feel guilty.

    • Yisheng Qingwa December 12, 2012 at 5:55 PM #

      So, a woman was hurt BY MEN and became dissociative and killed a man. What was the “financial” motive? I doubt your story completely.

      It does not only “appear” that more men kill than women, it IS SO.

      maleviolence. wordpress. com

      • martindufresne December 12, 2012 at 6:16 PM #

        Yes. Thanks for making that point.

  49. Henrietta Vinton Davis December 9, 2012 at 3:33 PM #

    Here are a few other names which should be remembered:

    Recorded Cases of Black Female Lynching Victims 1886-1957: More on Black Women Who Were Lynched

  50. Sad in Canada December 11, 2012 at 12:29 AM #

    Very well written article. Could not have said it better myself. I’ve been in an abusive relationship. The police are still living in the past, and frequently ignore or make light of domestic violence calls. Take for example the call a neighbor of mine made, fearing for my life, (rightly so) and when the police showed up, (over an hour later) I was told to “keep it down” because a neighbor had called to complain about the noise. I was very obviously battered & bruised, but they ignored it. My neighbor checked on me after my ex left. She called the police to complain that her call was not taken seriously, they said a Sgt. would call back. They never did.
    Until attitudes change, many people in this situation will die, just like these two beautiful young women.
    Rest in Peace.

  51. Stillpondering December 11, 2012 at 3:21 PM #

    Thank you for this. I have had this young lady on my mind ever since I heard of this sickening act. I’ve been blessed not to encounter such behavior but, I am not blind to the possibility. I read another article that the “tactless NY Post” has and the writer (who is a woman), called Kasandra a “gal pal”, in a distasteful manner. The image of her had a caption that reads “baby mama” next to her name. SMH. I truly feel for her, her family and her daughter. There are many women that tolerates unacceptable behavior for a “comfortable” lifestyle. I’m sure the signs of unstable mental behavior was there but, she may have believed/talked herself into/hoped or made excuses for what was done or said before. No one just “snaps”. Kasandra didn’t deserve that…no one does.

  52. stephaniegirl December 15, 2012 at 4:14 PM #

    Let’s not forget Lita McClinton Sullivan, an Atlanta socialite who was killed by her soon to be ex-husband back in 1987.

    The mainstream media made a big deal on the OJ Simpson case, but not a peep at the James Sullivan case. The white supremacist media doesn’t care about Black women, esp. Black women who are abused/murdered.

  53. misskinx December 20, 2012 at 11:36 AM #

    Reblogged this on Misskinx's Blog and commented:
    “It is ridiculous that I have to write a disclaimer of responsibility, anticipating an assumption of accountablity for the victim, a young woman who had not even began to live her life, a new mother who will not get to see her child’s first Christmas…but there are (or will be) people who, in Jovan Belcher’s defense, will ask aloud (or wonder silently) what she did to set him off. They will say she had no business going out with a three-month old at home. They will wonder what she did to make him so mad that he would jeopardize everything he had worked so hard for. They will speculate about her cheating, or lying, or disrespecting him. They will assume that somehow she is at least partially to blame for her own demise. But I posit that there is nothing that she did do, didn’t do, or could have done to justify her tragic, violent and untimely death.”


  1. Remember Their Names: In Memory of Kasandra, Cherica & Others | OCG - December 3, 2012

    […] 3DEC […]

  2. Open Season: Jordan Davis, Kasandra Perkins, and Jovan Belcher. « beyondbabymamas - December 3, 2012

    […] Crunk Feminist Collective blogger rboylorn discusses the killing of Kasandra Michelle Perkins with insight and sensitivity, careful to amplify her name and legacy in the face of reporting that chooses to focus on her more recognizable partner. The erasure of women’s individual identities is always problematic in discussions of domestic violence, as is the tendency of women who’ve never experienced it to distance themselves from its reality. […]

  3. Kasandra Perkins, In Memorium | cuwomensresourcecenter - December 4, 2012

    […] and there is much work to be done in preventing gendered violence.  Rest in Peace, Kasandra.…/   […]

  4. Getting to know the story behind the name « Jenna Tenn-Yuk - December 6, 2012

    […] recently read a piece in The Crunk Feminist Collective, Remember Their Names: In Memory of Kasandra, Cherica & Others. It was about Jovan Belcher, the Kansas City Chiefs player who recently killed his girlfriend […]

  5. Choice Cuts – December 7, 2012 - Northern Exposure - December 7, 2012

    […] Remember Their Names: In Memory of Kasandra, Cherica & Others – And since Kasandra Perkins’ name is not in the headlines (and Cherica Adams’ name was not in the headlines), but is rather hidden somewhere between the facts of the case and the eulogy of a man deemed the tragic, martyred hero, I wrote this piece to call out her name.  I feel like you should know her name.  And Cherica’s name.  And the name of every other victim who gets lost in the shadows of a murderer’s limelight. […]

  6. After a two month break | I live in la la land. - December 8, 2012

    […] Remember their names. […]

  7. Hot Links Here! | Considered Exclamations - December 12, 2012

    […] The Crunk Feminists remind us to remember the victims of domestic violence, like Kasandra Perkins. […]

  8. 2012: It’s the End of the World & Our Hearts Are Broken « The Crunk Feminist Collective - December 17, 2012

    […] Missouri […]

  9. A Theory of Violence: In memory of Kasandra, CeCe, Victoria, Savita and Anonymous « The Crunk Feminist Collective - January 4, 2013

    […] Kasandra Perkins was killed by her partner, a professional athlete, who had threatened to shoot her weeks before he did. No one was able to protect her despite the fact of his threat. […]

  10. A Theory of Violence: In Honor of Kasandra, CeCe, Victoria, Savita and Anonymous « The Crunk Feminist Collective - January 4, 2013

    […] Kasandra Perkins was killed by her partner, a professional athlete, who had threatened to shoot her weeks before he did. No one was able to protect her despite the fact of his threat. […]

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